Why is it that we as moms make self-care the last item on our to do list?
My Momcation Story
I launched this blog a couple of months ago in pursuit of a more purpose-filled motherhood, and to encourage other moms in the process. But around the same time, I started noticing my creativity, my joy, and my ability to encourage were falling completely flat. I hadn’t seen it coming, but I had depleted the last of my reserves and was in desperate need of a recharge. Sound familiar?
I began to crave some time away – some complete solitude – to rest and to refocus, and to refill my tank. A mom-vacation all to myself. Somewhere in the mountains, with fresh air, and no wi-Fi. I had a place in mind I’d always wanted to go to, and with the hubby’s blessing and my mom graciously agreeing to cover childcare, I booked it.
Mamas, let me just say, this getaway was a game changer.
I was only gone 2 1/2 days, and what a difference those 54 hours made. What did I do?
I slept 12 hours each night, woke up to glorious silence, and ditched my agenda.
I ate hot meals without rushing or leaving the table, and enjoyed a glass of wine at dinner each night. Oh, and uninterrupted chocolate cake. Because it’s in the rules.
I sipped “momosas” while lounging on my cabin’s deck and looking at the lake.
I read (a little).
I took some photos of the breathtaking beauty around me.
I took hot showers and gave myself a pedicure.
I did some work on my Powersheets and identified my goals and focus areas for the second half of the year.
I was quiet.
I fed my soul with the rest it needed.
I became me again.
On my second night of glamping, the restaurant owner at the retreat I visited found me at the same table I had been at the first night. He remarked that I kind of reminded him of the gal who had been there the night prior, and said we looked somewhat alike. He genuinely wasn’t sure whether we were the same person. Apparently the transformation back to “me” wasn’t just on the inside. And those at home saw it too.
The Top 5 Signs that You’re in Need of a Momcation:
If you’re craving a getaway but still not sure you need it or don’t feel justified in taking the time to refuel, the following criteria might help:
1. You’re in reactive mode every day.
You are pulled in so many directions each day, you feel you can’t be proactive in your days. You make plans and goals, and wonder why you even bother. You dig through the laundry basket for the cleanest thing you own and survive on dry shampoo because who has time to start over on hair? You awake to the sound of chaos and littles in need, and wish for a snooze button just this once. You survive on coffee and calories you don’t need, and wish you could have clone or a domestic assistant.
2. You have a short fuse.
You find yourself unable to separate daily frustrations from your emotions. Toddler mamas need an extra helping of grace to get through most days. When that grace is in short supply, even the littlest things can try your patience and you may find yourself using a time out to collect yourself, rather than to get your kiddo to do so.
3. You’ve lost your creative mojo.
You carve out time to catch up, work, do a project at the house and you just can’t seem to start – or finish – it, even when you have time. You don’t use any of your normal creative expressions, like singing or crafting. When your kiddo wants to play with you, you can’t muster up the creativity or imagination to enter into his or her play. You wonder if it’s ok to just turn on the tv and close your eyes for a few minutes.
4. You’re starting to resent your partner.
You become annoyed when your hubby takes time to connect with his friends or has to work late. You recognize the importance of his having down time, but you feel resentful when your down time takes the form of a trip to Target or the grocery store by yourself after he and the kiddos go to bed.
5. Your empathy has turned to apathy.
You are having a hard time caring about anyone else’s issues because… who cares. You are just so darned tired. You love the people you share your home and life with, but at the moment you don’t feel lovey feelings.
Running on Empty
If this is where you find yourself right now, you are reaching the point of burnout and are in need of a recharge! It doesn’t make you a terrible mother. It more likely means you are a really good one! You have been giving it your all for so long that you’ve forgotten to take care of yourself and refill your tank. You can only run on empty for so long before you come to a standstill.
Time to Refuel
A Momcation is not a self-indulgent excuse to be away from your family. It is a refueling expedition so you can come home and love them well, with all your being, from a place of rest. Nothing will be different when you come home, except you!
Make the reservation
Find a place that speaks to you and make the arrangements. Your child will be completely ok with mom being away for a couple of days and will hug the heck out of you when you come back. And you know what? You’ll be ready to savor that hug too.